People commit countless transgressions behind the steering wheel, but speeding gets the most attention. As lovers of fast cars and the sensations they provide, we find that troubling.* This is, after all, the magazine that invented the Cannonball Run. Speed-limit enforcement is arbitrary, and the fines have no relationship to justice or simple fairness. Countless fees and charges continue to ratchet ticket costs ever higher.
-So, fueled by a 48-can pack of Costco’s surprisingly digestible Kirkland Signature Light Beer, we devised a sensible, easy-to-understand means of bringing fine amounts into line by considering what type of vehicle is doing the speeding [see left]. An investment in high-performance machinery should, in C/D’s not-so-modest opinion, be rewarded with acknowledgment that the vehicle is capable of safely operating at higher speeds, while lesser vehicles driven fast are death on radials and deserve higher fines (which, granted, is a rankly regressive system that punishes the less fortunate and might just spur a revolution).
-Of course, our own authoritative performance measurements would be used to set the fines. They’ve been deserving of legal weight for generations anyhow.
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- Escort Max 360 Radar and Laser Detector: Hey, Those Arrows Look Familiar -
- Miami Heat: 2015 Porsche 918 Spyder vs. 1989 Porsche 959 -
- How Do You Police a Land with No Speed Limits? -
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| - Where: --TA is the adjusted ticket cost. TR is what the ticket would cost according to current practice. - | -- | - 50 is a constant. -ET is the vehicle’s elapsed time in the quarter-mile. The quickest car we’ve tested is the Porsche 918 Spyder, which clocked 9.8 seconds. -0.2 is a constant used to rate vehicles according to their quickness. Each 0.2-second increase over 9.8 seconds increases the fine. - | -- | - B70 is the vehicle’s 70-to-zero braking distance. The best braking we’ve measured is 128 feet from 70 mph, achieved by the Chevrolet Corvette Z06. -6 is a constant used to rate vehicles according to their stopping ability from 70 mph. Each six-foot increment beyond 128 feet increases the fine. - | -
Fines will vary across the country but let’s assume you’re pulled over and issued a $250 ticket:
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The benefit of this scheme is that if someone has a doddering wreck that can’t even manage safe merging speeds or won’t stop in the same city block that it’s on when the brakes are applied, their speeding fines will be astronomical. You’re welcome, America.
-*This is all a big joke. Obey your local laws.**
- **But also dare to dream.
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